Well congrats to Captain Borgue for winning last month. Please select this months topic when you can.
That said entries will be open till the 24th and voting will run till the end of the month afterward.
April 2013
-
captain_borgue
- Is a cackling Pony
- Posts: 809
- Joined: Thu Jan 03, 2013 3:43 pm
Re: April 2013
Ok, I call this one "What a twist!"
Basically, write a story with a twist ending- you can HINT at it in the body of the story, but the ending should still be a surprise. So put [ center ]***[ /center ] and a few line breaks before your twist ending, to denote said twist.
And to anypony reading these, please don't skip ahead. That's not very nice.
For those of you wondering how to write a plot twist: here's a brief synopsis I found that is helpful:
1. The ending must be hard to predict.
2. Even though the ending is hard to predict, it fits in with the rest of the story. Meaning, FORESHADOWING. Bits of the story prior to the ending suggest what may happen in the ending- hopefully without giving it away.
3. The ending adds a new dimension to the story. There's an interaction, or unanswered question, that makes everything before it seem different the second time you read it.
Now, let's be realistic, writing a super awesome twist ending to a short story is hard, since the story leading up to the twist doesn't have the length to really establish character interactions, setting, that sort of thing. Which is why it fits in here- we already KNOW the characters, setting, and all the preliminary stuffs. In my experience, a good way to go about this is to write the ending first, then work backwards from there.
Good luck everypony!
Basically, write a story with a twist ending- you can HINT at it in the body of the story, but the ending should still be a surprise. So put [ center ]***[ /center ] and a few line breaks before your twist ending, to denote said twist.
And to anypony reading these, please don't skip ahead. That's not very nice.
For those of you wondering how to write a plot twist: here's a brief synopsis I found that is helpful:
1. The ending must be hard to predict.
2. Even though the ending is hard to predict, it fits in with the rest of the story. Meaning, FORESHADOWING. Bits of the story prior to the ending suggest what may happen in the ending- hopefully without giving it away.
3. The ending adds a new dimension to the story. There's an interaction, or unanswered question, that makes everything before it seem different the second time you read it.
Now, let's be realistic, writing a super awesome twist ending to a short story is hard, since the story leading up to the twist doesn't have the length to really establish character interactions, setting, that sort of thing. Which is why it fits in here- we already KNOW the characters, setting, and all the preliminary stuffs. In my experience, a good way to go about this is to write the ending first, then work backwards from there.
Good luck everypony!
Re: April 2013
Spoiler:
The new Mrs. Aura cleared away the dishes from dinner, kissing the stallion that was suddenly her husband before going into the kitchen to do the dishes. He had followed her into the kitchen offering to help, but she sent him out with a smile. He was an easy catch, willing to do whatever he could to “Make the marriage work”. Very sweet of him, River thought, it made her job easier.
With Flame out of the kitchen she set her levitation to work on the dishes, something that she had practiced many times in her chief’s training. She looked over the teas that she had brought with her and considered what would be best for doing her part in “making the marriage work” before she moved onto the bottle of cider she’d been given to help her in her task and poured some into a saucepan with her hooves and added some spices wrapped in a cheesecloth.
She finished up the dishes with the smell running though the kitchen as she planned out how the rest of the night would play out. She’d imagined having this task since she was younger, dreaming for it. She had always thought it would be harder, and when Flame proposed so suddenly, things seemed so much easier than she had ever dreamed of.
She poured the cider into two mugs and started towards her room when Val ran into her. She tried not to show her frustration at being interrupted in her duty, but set the two cups down on the counter and led Val into the kitchen, trying to hide her excitement about her duty ahead while she waited for the scientist to tell her tale.
She listened while going through her herbal mixtures as Val rambled on about how she was having a hard time settling down this evening with the excitement of having Noir with her and if she could maybe have some ginger in her tea tonight? River was only half listening until Val mentioned the smell of the cider that was left in the sauce pan and asked for some. “No, donnea touch it!” River snapped, and then took a breath and returned to her normal demeanor. “I’m sorry, I only meant to warn ye that in yer condition it probably isnea a good idea, cider isnea as bad as other things, but it still wouldnea be best fer the wee one”.
She tried not to let her sigh of relief show as Val stepped away from the pan and trotted back to her own room. She had things to do tonight, and she didn’t need the distraction of a mare to break her focus.
She wrapped the mugs of cider in her aura once more and made her way into her room, only to find it empty. She was a little disappointed at this, but took the chance to go out into the garden that she had started the previous week with Onyx. It was small and there weren’t as many flowers that had bloomed from the started plants that were picked up in Canterlot, but she managed to find a couple of roses that would do for adding another scent to the room and made her way back into the room.
Her room was still empty, so she sat down with a cookery book to calm herself and prepare for what would come through the door….what did come through the door just as she started reading a recipe for alfalfa that was supposed to taste like pulled pork.
She sat down her book and greeted her husband with a smile, handed him his cup and shut the door as he took a sip.
River’s heart raced as she watched the breaths of her husband slow down to the point that he was her late husband. She had been truthful when she said that she went to the mansion to help stop the war…but she never said what side she wanted to win. Flame had been an easy target but the bases’ other EMP would be a much harder…perhaps the emotionless Neon could still find it in his heart to share a drink with a mourning widow….
~If this should end in fire, then we should all burn together~
Re: April 2013
Sliding the train door shut, Twenty took a seat right next to Iron, the rhythmic thunking of the train being drowned out by the sound of his and his wife’s two children playing right across from them. The pair of them each levitating a toy they had gotten from their Uncle Breaker and Aunt Melody. It was nice to see them again. After all the touring around Equestria the pair did, the chances for extended visits were rather slim and far between.
Looking out of the window, the knight watched as Cloudsdale drifted off, growing smaller with every passing moment. “Cloudsdale certainly is a beautiful city, would be an interesting place to live if you didn’t have wings. Honestly I don’t understand how Breaker can maintain that cloud walking spell for so long. I don’t know, just seemed to give a weird tickling feeling after awhile.” Twenty said, his comment getting a giggle from his children.
“Dad, magic doesn’t tickle.” Double Edge, his son, a black coated unicorn, continued to laugh, as he put aside the sculpted dragon he had gotten from Breaker, his other child, Static, laughed along with her brother, before going back to the small music box she had gotten from her Auntie Gentle.
“Hm, maybe you’re right Double, its me!” the hybrid leapt from his seat wrapping the twins in a hug as he started tickling his two children, as the two flailed about in fits of laughter as they tried to escape their father’s hold. “What do you think Iron? Is it just me?” he asked the purple mare, continuing the tickling assault on the kids in his arms.
Iron Mare laughed as she watched her children trying to escape from the grip of their father. "I dunno, Twenty, I think it's just you! Makes sense when you think about it though, you're the only one here without a horn." She said with a wink, her horn flaring to life as her magic gripped one of the metal bracelets around Static's arm and pulled her daughter away from the relentless tickling of Twenty. Static Shock laughed as her mother's magic pulled her back up to the seat, before she started to hiccup. "Oh dear, there she goes... Hopefully she doesn't zap us all again." Iron said with a smile as Static's hiccups shorted out her magic, and tiny electrical sparks here tossed from their daughter's horn.
Unbeknownst to the happy family, some ways down the track there was trouble brewing. The war with the Dragons had ended several years beforehoof, but there were still those who supported the Dragons hiding out in Equestria. A group of these traitors, led by several teen Dragons, were hard at work disassembling the track, looking to cause a major accident...
Iron looked around the train car, searching for something they could use to cover Static's horn while she had her hiccuping fit. "Twenty, do you see anything non-conductive around here? I don't want to have an incident we have to explain to the engineer, so I think we should--" At that moment, the train hit the trap that had been set as the rails blew apart from under the train, sending it into an uncontrollable mass of chaos. Iron cried out as she threw herself over her daughter, in an attempt to protect the young filly.
Everything seemed slower as the train car delved into chaos. Their luggage falling all around him, the ear piercing sound of the train wheels finding no purchase. Without any effort, Twenty’s mind immediately reverted back to one dedicated to survival. Grabbing Double Edge, the hybrid pushed his son underneath the protective arms of his mother, reminding his children to keep their heads down and stay next to Iron.
Getting up from his family, Twenty trusted that they would be alright, after all, Iron was there, she was one of the most powerful unicorns that he knew. Of course they would be alright. He should not be worrying as much as he was. Everyone else on the train however, they were not as lucky and would probably need help. Opening the sliding door, the X-Colt took one last look at his family, giving a silent prayer to the Sisters, asking that they would be alright, before leaving the room.
After Twenty left, however, something happened that nopony could have predicted. Some luggage came loose from above and toppled down onto Iron as she shielded her foals. She was knocked in the head and the last thing she remembered was her children yelling for her to stay awake...
Just as inside, the train was in utter chaos, as ponies tried to get some form of hold as to what was going on. Most screaming for help, others silent and hoping for the best. Rushing to a nearby elderly earth pony, Twenty, grabbed ahold of the gray haired mare as she began to collapse, offering a comforting smile, the hybrid led her back inside the nearest open room, telling the occupants inside, to get under their seats and sit still. Repeating the advice to others around him, the knight felt as if control was finally being brought back in the situation. Running back to his family’s room, Twenty reached out for the door, just as everything came to an abrupt stop. However instead of the quiet that would be expected, everything that wasn't secured flew from their resting places. Twenty included.
Thrown from his hooves, the former X-Colt tumbled down the hall, striking walls and their edges. Finally coming to a rest as he impacted the other side of the train car’s door, all air rushing out of him, as he heard the sound of multiple snapping. Wide eyed, unable to breath, The half pony finally heard what he had expected from the stop. Silence. Slumping over. Twenty desperately tried to catch his breath, as his vision began to blur. Ahead of him, the hybrid saw something rushing toward him, two things both small. As it grew closer, a voice reached his ears. “Daddy! Daddy! Are you okay!” it was Double Edge and Static. As the pair came closer, Twenty could see the fear in their tear stained eyes.
Reaching their father, Double Edge immediately tried to rouse Twenty from his slumped over position, pushing at him, while Static rested her head against his, “Daddy, daddy please! Please get up!” Double urged, as tears continued to fall from his eyes. Twenty in all the while, tried to comfort his children, struggling to give a soft smile, as he reached a hoof toward his son and daughter.
“Oh, my little adventurer, and my sweet lightning bug. It’ll be alri-” he wheezed, his struggle for breath continuing, before his body finally letting out a violent series of coughs, expelling the blood that was building up in his lungs.
Seeing this, Double couldn’t help but reel backwards. As he burst into a gallop back toward their room. His voice filling the train car. “Momma! Momma!” Returning to the unconscious Iron, Double Edge lost all form of control as desperately tried to wake his mother, “MommaMommasomething’swrongwithdaddypleasewakeuppleasepleaseplease!”
Iron felt herself being slowly shaken awake by her son, and heard that something was wrong with Twenty. Shakily getting to her hooves, she managed to make her way of the car, trusting her son to guide her. She soon caught sight of Twenty's prone body, and she made her way towards it as fast as she could, her head pounding. She collapsed on the floor next to her daughter, as Static wept over her father. "T-Twenty..." Iron managed to get out.
The zebra hybrid opened his eyes slightly and tried to focus on Iron. "I-Iron" Twenty wheezed, looking up to his wife a sense of relief washing through him. "Thank...thank the sister's you are alright. I, I must look like a wreak. h...heh" the hybrid tried to laugh only received another series of coughs and a small puddle of blood. "Who...who woulda guessed this would happen?" Tears began to build up in the hybrid's eyes as the gravity of what was happening finally began to take affect, "After all we've been though....before I wanted to see my mom and dad....so bad....but....but now...I don't want to go...not now...I'm sorry. Putting as much energy he had left, the Knight of the Dawn, raised his hoof and head toward Iron Mare's kissing her forehead, before falling limp.
"N-no... Twenty, no! Wake up! You can't leave, no! Stay with me!" Iron cried, weeping as Twenty slowly faded from her life...
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Months passed after the wreck. Twenty's funeral came and went, and he received the highest honors the Sister's could bestow on a Knight. Iron was inconsolable, she spent days at a time doing nothing but weeping. Flame and River came to help take care of the foals while Iron tried to recover. Life was torture for Iron during this time, but slowly she began to recover. She remembered the good times with the love of her life, and the haunting memories of the train began to fade. Life started to go back to normal. Until the day she swore she heard a ghost...
The day had gone like any other, with Iron picking the foals up from school after getting off work, and taking them home to make dinner for them. This night, however, was no usual night. It had been six months exactly since the accident, and that thought weighed heavily on Iron's mind. Dinner that night was a quiet affair, and Iron kept glancing at the chair that Twenty used to occupy. Even little Static, usually so full of energy knew that this was a sad night, and she kept quiet as best she could.
Suddenly, however, the silence was shattered by a long-forgotten voice. "Iron..." The voice called, as if from a great distance. "Iron, you'll be okay... Ir promise you that." When the purple mare's head shot up to find the location of the voice, she was shocked at the sight across the table from her. Her late husband, sitting in his chair and giving her that concerned look he reserved for when he knew she'd had a long day... But how was this possible?!
"T-Twenty...?" She whispered, slowly rising from her chair. Double and Static turned to look at her, and then in the direction she was looking.
"Mommy?" Double asked. "What are you looking at?
Iron looked down at her son, had he not seen Twenty?! "It's... It's your father, Double, it's daddy!"
"But mommy... you said daddy wan't coming home, didn't you?" Static asked, looking at Twenty's seat again.
Iron shook her head and looked back to the seat, ready to take back what she'd said about Twenty not coming home anymore... But he was gone. His chair was as empty and cold as it had been for the last 6 months. Iron sank into her seat again, feeling as though she'd been crushed. A lump began to form in her throat and she shook her head. "You're... You're right, Static... I did say that... I-I don't know what I was thinking..." she said sadly. The small family finished their dinner in silence, and after getting the foals to bed, Iron fell asleep herself, making sure to stay to her side of the bed.
Iron awoke with a start the next morning, her husband's name on her lips. She knew she'd been dreaming, and it must have been about Twenty... But she couldn't remember the details. All she knew was that he was asking for something... Begging even, but she couldn't remember what! She groaned and got out of bed, thankful for the weekend and that she didn't have to go to work. Maybe she'd go see Princess Luna... The princess of the Night had helped her before, maybe she could do it again. After dropping the foals off at a friends house for the day, Iron made her way to the castle.
After waking up the lunar princess from her day's sleep (And getting guilt tripped by her guards for it.), Iron had her audience. She explained what had happened to the princess, and asked for her help. After asking a few questions about the details, Luna relented, and soon Iron was being put to sleep by the Alicorn's magic.
A few hours later, Iron awoke again, still with little memory of her dreams and with a very concerned-looking Princess standing over her. "What... What did you see?" Iron asked, afraid of the answer.
"I... Saw you talking to somepony, Iron. But there was nopony there. I heard one half of a conversation, and I didn't see your husband there. What do you remember?"
Iron bit her lip and thought, trying to catch what few details she had before they faded. "I saw him... I know I saw Twenty. I talked to him, but I can't remember what it was about... He wanted me to do something..."
Princess Luna nodded, relaying her own information. "As I said, it seemed I was hearing only half a conversation, your half. You seemed under the impression that you were going somewhere against his wishes, but other than that, I know nothing. Iron... There is nothing invading your dreams. I could not find anything out of the ordinary. But if you're seeing hallucinations, and things in your dreams that aren't there, and I cannot find a problem... Perhaps you should see a doctor."
Iron froze at the mention of a doctor, she couldn't do that... She had foals to take care, there couldn't be anything wrong with her! She'd figure this out on her own...
The days passed, and the dreams just got worse. She could still remember very little, but she knew that she was on a path that Twenty didn't want her on--No, not didn't, wouldn't want her on. He was gone, even if... even if she did see him constantly through the day, no matter where she went... It wan't real, it couldn't be real, as much as she wished it was real... And as terrifying as the dreams seemed, she found herself wishing she could stay in them just a little bit longer, if only to be able to see him in her mind...
Finally, she could take it no longer. She left work early one day, and went down to the cemetery. She had to see it, she had to know she was dreaming... After walking through the maze of headstones, she found the one she was looking for. Her husband's grave, and... Twenty standing beside it, looking at her. She shook her head, it had to be a hallucination...
Twenty began to speak, and his voice held that eerie far-away sound to it. "Come back, Iron... I need you. We all need you here, you have to make it..." his voice began to fade even as his image did, and Iron only caught a few more words. "Doctors... Get better... Need you..."
Iron held her breath as the zebra hybrid faded from view. It was a sign, it had to be... There was something wrong with her, she had to see a doctor! Iron raced back to her house, just barely remembering to pick up the foals before she raced to the hospital. There was no time to make an appointment, she had to know NOW!
A few hours later, Iron'd had her tests done, including some kind of machine to scan her brain. She was being led down the hallway back to the waiting room by the doctor, listening to him say that they'd have to wait for the results, but there didn't seem to be anything wrong with her head. It didn't make sense... There had to be something wrong, they must have missed it...
Iron was so lost in her thoughts, that the only thing that snapped her out of it was the sight of her foals... Walking down a random hallway together? Why weren't they in the waiting room? Iron stopped and stared, then noticed she was standing next to the door to the waiting room. Glancing through the window, she was shocked to find her foals still sitting where she'd left them! Iron turned back, expecting to see a now empty hallway, but no... The twins were still there, and they looked upset... What was going on?!
"I can answer that for you." A familiar voice echoed through her mind. Iron turned quickly, only to find the the doctor had disappeared and had been replaced by her brother, Flame... "Hey Iron. It's been awhile."
"Flame? What are you doing here? Why aren't you in Trottingham with River and Meadowspark?" Iron asked, only ebcoming more and more confused.
"Oh, I am. The real me, anyway. Didn't you notice I don't have an accent? Or a scar? And that I'm shorter than you suddenly? Your brother is with his family. I'm simply representing a part of your subconscious."
"So... I'm hallucinating again." Iron said, sighing and closing her eyes. When had life gotten so confusing...?
"No, not quite hallucinating." Flame said with a smile. "Here's the thing, you have a choice in front of you. You can go out to that waiting room and go back to your life, all of this will end. But you'll never, ever know what was behind it. And you'll have to live with that for the rest of your life. Or, you can follow that very upset looking set of twins, find out what in Tartarus is going on, get your answers. But all the progress you've made in moving on from Twenty will be pointless if you do. So... Make your choice."
Iron thought about what her brother was saying, questions whirling in her mind. Finally, one boiled to the surface, and she had to know. "... Before I decide, why are you a 'representation of my subconscious'?"
Flame chuckled and shook his head. "Simple. You imagined me this way, at this age, for a reason. Mom and Dad, back when everything in our lives were horrible, remember? I took the beatings for you, the abuse, I kept you safe. Kept you sane. Part of you has never forgotten that. I was your protector and now I'm here to help one last time. One of these choices is the right one, for the record. But you need to figure that out."
Iron looked into the waiting room, and then back to the hallway, taking in both sets of her children. This didn't make any sense... Both sets of twins couldn't be real, could they? She had to pick the right ones... But part of her screamed that she also needed to know about what was happening in her mind. Iron closed her eyes and took a deep breath, she had to choose right... "I need to know." She said, opening her eyes and heading down the hallway.
"Alright." Flame said, following along behind. "Just keep close to Static and Double, they know where they're going."
The odd group walked through the hallways of the hospital, Iron keeping a close eye on the foals who seemed to not even know she was there. Soon they came to a door, and the foals walked inside the room. Flame stopped Iron before she could go in with a look. "Fair warning. You go in there, there's no turning back. You make this choice, and it stays with you. So... You can choose to turn back, or go in."
Iron glared at her brother, noticed that even he was starting to look fuzzy around the edges... "I'm going in." She said, heading through the door. She stopped dead in her tracks at what she saw.
Iron saw Twenty sitting in a chair, and in the hospital bed was... Herself. Hooked up to all kinds of machines, and as Iron looked closer she realized that the other her wasn't moving at all... "What is this?!" she asked her husband, now even more confused than before.
"He can't hear you." Flame said sadly, waving a hoof in front of Twenty's face. "You see, Iron, Twenty didn't die in that train wreck. Which was only three weeks ago, might I add, not six months. Instead, you hit your head, and have been in a coma ever since. As your subconscious, I did everything I could for you, based on what information I had... I created a scenario, tried to give you something to live for so you'd make it through. I didn't know where Twenty was, so... He wasn't there. Then, last week, he came into the hospital room. Turns out he'd been hurt, and they only just now let him come see you. He broke through the facade I'd made, found a way into your dream just by talking to you. And you've been getting better. You weren't expected to survive before he showed up, but you began to respond after he started talking. There's just one thing now you have to do. Wake up."
Iron looked around the room as the phantom of her brother explained what happened. It was so unreal, but at the same time... It made sense. there was Twenty, there was herself in a coma, and her family was gathered around. Flame and his family were there, her aunts and uncles, even her father... Somehow, it felt right. Things made sense, for the first time in a long time. And if it meant being with Twenty and reuniting her family... Iron knew what she had to do. so she took a deep breath, stepped closer to her own unconscious form...
And Iron Mare woke up.
Looking out of the window, the knight watched as Cloudsdale drifted off, growing smaller with every passing moment. “Cloudsdale certainly is a beautiful city, would be an interesting place to live if you didn’t have wings. Honestly I don’t understand how Breaker can maintain that cloud walking spell for so long. I don’t know, just seemed to give a weird tickling feeling after awhile.” Twenty said, his comment getting a giggle from his children.
“Dad, magic doesn’t tickle.” Double Edge, his son, a black coated unicorn, continued to laugh, as he put aside the sculpted dragon he had gotten from Breaker, his other child, Static, laughed along with her brother, before going back to the small music box she had gotten from her Auntie Gentle.
“Hm, maybe you’re right Double, its me!” the hybrid leapt from his seat wrapping the twins in a hug as he started tickling his two children, as the two flailed about in fits of laughter as they tried to escape their father’s hold. “What do you think Iron? Is it just me?” he asked the purple mare, continuing the tickling assault on the kids in his arms.
Iron Mare laughed as she watched her children trying to escape from the grip of their father. "I dunno, Twenty, I think it's just you! Makes sense when you think about it though, you're the only one here without a horn." She said with a wink, her horn flaring to life as her magic gripped one of the metal bracelets around Static's arm and pulled her daughter away from the relentless tickling of Twenty. Static Shock laughed as her mother's magic pulled her back up to the seat, before she started to hiccup. "Oh dear, there she goes... Hopefully she doesn't zap us all again." Iron said with a smile as Static's hiccups shorted out her magic, and tiny electrical sparks here tossed from their daughter's horn.
Unbeknownst to the happy family, some ways down the track there was trouble brewing. The war with the Dragons had ended several years beforehoof, but there were still those who supported the Dragons hiding out in Equestria. A group of these traitors, led by several teen Dragons, were hard at work disassembling the track, looking to cause a major accident...
Iron looked around the train car, searching for something they could use to cover Static's horn while she had her hiccuping fit. "Twenty, do you see anything non-conductive around here? I don't want to have an incident we have to explain to the engineer, so I think we should--" At that moment, the train hit the trap that had been set as the rails blew apart from under the train, sending it into an uncontrollable mass of chaos. Iron cried out as she threw herself over her daughter, in an attempt to protect the young filly.
Everything seemed slower as the train car delved into chaos. Their luggage falling all around him, the ear piercing sound of the train wheels finding no purchase. Without any effort, Twenty’s mind immediately reverted back to one dedicated to survival. Grabbing Double Edge, the hybrid pushed his son underneath the protective arms of his mother, reminding his children to keep their heads down and stay next to Iron.
Getting up from his family, Twenty trusted that they would be alright, after all, Iron was there, she was one of the most powerful unicorns that he knew. Of course they would be alright. He should not be worrying as much as he was. Everyone else on the train however, they were not as lucky and would probably need help. Opening the sliding door, the X-Colt took one last look at his family, giving a silent prayer to the Sisters, asking that they would be alright, before leaving the room.
After Twenty left, however, something happened that nopony could have predicted. Some luggage came loose from above and toppled down onto Iron as she shielded her foals. She was knocked in the head and the last thing she remembered was her children yelling for her to stay awake...
Just as inside, the train was in utter chaos, as ponies tried to get some form of hold as to what was going on. Most screaming for help, others silent and hoping for the best. Rushing to a nearby elderly earth pony, Twenty, grabbed ahold of the gray haired mare as she began to collapse, offering a comforting smile, the hybrid led her back inside the nearest open room, telling the occupants inside, to get under their seats and sit still. Repeating the advice to others around him, the knight felt as if control was finally being brought back in the situation. Running back to his family’s room, Twenty reached out for the door, just as everything came to an abrupt stop. However instead of the quiet that would be expected, everything that wasn't secured flew from their resting places. Twenty included.
Thrown from his hooves, the former X-Colt tumbled down the hall, striking walls and their edges. Finally coming to a rest as he impacted the other side of the train car’s door, all air rushing out of him, as he heard the sound of multiple snapping. Wide eyed, unable to breath, The half pony finally heard what he had expected from the stop. Silence. Slumping over. Twenty desperately tried to catch his breath, as his vision began to blur. Ahead of him, the hybrid saw something rushing toward him, two things both small. As it grew closer, a voice reached his ears. “Daddy! Daddy! Are you okay!” it was Double Edge and Static. As the pair came closer, Twenty could see the fear in their tear stained eyes.
Reaching their father, Double Edge immediately tried to rouse Twenty from his slumped over position, pushing at him, while Static rested her head against his, “Daddy, daddy please! Please get up!” Double urged, as tears continued to fall from his eyes. Twenty in all the while, tried to comfort his children, struggling to give a soft smile, as he reached a hoof toward his son and daughter.
“Oh, my little adventurer, and my sweet lightning bug. It’ll be alri-” he wheezed, his struggle for breath continuing, before his body finally letting out a violent series of coughs, expelling the blood that was building up in his lungs.
Seeing this, Double couldn’t help but reel backwards. As he burst into a gallop back toward their room. His voice filling the train car. “Momma! Momma!” Returning to the unconscious Iron, Double Edge lost all form of control as desperately tried to wake his mother, “MommaMommasomething’swrongwithdaddypleasewakeuppleasepleaseplease!”
Iron felt herself being slowly shaken awake by her son, and heard that something was wrong with Twenty. Shakily getting to her hooves, she managed to make her way of the car, trusting her son to guide her. She soon caught sight of Twenty's prone body, and she made her way towards it as fast as she could, her head pounding. She collapsed on the floor next to her daughter, as Static wept over her father. "T-Twenty..." Iron managed to get out.
The zebra hybrid opened his eyes slightly and tried to focus on Iron. "I-Iron" Twenty wheezed, looking up to his wife a sense of relief washing through him. "Thank...thank the sister's you are alright. I, I must look like a wreak. h...heh" the hybrid tried to laugh only received another series of coughs and a small puddle of blood. "Who...who woulda guessed this would happen?" Tears began to build up in the hybrid's eyes as the gravity of what was happening finally began to take affect, "After all we've been though....before I wanted to see my mom and dad....so bad....but....but now...I don't want to go...not now...I'm sorry. Putting as much energy he had left, the Knight of the Dawn, raised his hoof and head toward Iron Mare's kissing her forehead, before falling limp.
"N-no... Twenty, no! Wake up! You can't leave, no! Stay with me!" Iron cried, weeping as Twenty slowly faded from her life...
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Months passed after the wreck. Twenty's funeral came and went, and he received the highest honors the Sister's could bestow on a Knight. Iron was inconsolable, she spent days at a time doing nothing but weeping. Flame and River came to help take care of the foals while Iron tried to recover. Life was torture for Iron during this time, but slowly she began to recover. She remembered the good times with the love of her life, and the haunting memories of the train began to fade. Life started to go back to normal. Until the day she swore she heard a ghost...
The day had gone like any other, with Iron picking the foals up from school after getting off work, and taking them home to make dinner for them. This night, however, was no usual night. It had been six months exactly since the accident, and that thought weighed heavily on Iron's mind. Dinner that night was a quiet affair, and Iron kept glancing at the chair that Twenty used to occupy. Even little Static, usually so full of energy knew that this was a sad night, and she kept quiet as best she could.
Suddenly, however, the silence was shattered by a long-forgotten voice. "Iron..." The voice called, as if from a great distance. "Iron, you'll be okay... Ir promise you that." When the purple mare's head shot up to find the location of the voice, she was shocked at the sight across the table from her. Her late husband, sitting in his chair and giving her that concerned look he reserved for when he knew she'd had a long day... But how was this possible?!
"T-Twenty...?" She whispered, slowly rising from her chair. Double and Static turned to look at her, and then in the direction she was looking.
"Mommy?" Double asked. "What are you looking at?
Iron looked down at her son, had he not seen Twenty?! "It's... It's your father, Double, it's daddy!"
"But mommy... you said daddy wan't coming home, didn't you?" Static asked, looking at Twenty's seat again.
Iron shook her head and looked back to the seat, ready to take back what she'd said about Twenty not coming home anymore... But he was gone. His chair was as empty and cold as it had been for the last 6 months. Iron sank into her seat again, feeling as though she'd been crushed. A lump began to form in her throat and she shook her head. "You're... You're right, Static... I did say that... I-I don't know what I was thinking..." she said sadly. The small family finished their dinner in silence, and after getting the foals to bed, Iron fell asleep herself, making sure to stay to her side of the bed.
Iron awoke with a start the next morning, her husband's name on her lips. She knew she'd been dreaming, and it must have been about Twenty... But she couldn't remember the details. All she knew was that he was asking for something... Begging even, but she couldn't remember what! She groaned and got out of bed, thankful for the weekend and that she didn't have to go to work. Maybe she'd go see Princess Luna... The princess of the Night had helped her before, maybe she could do it again. After dropping the foals off at a friends house for the day, Iron made her way to the castle.
After waking up the lunar princess from her day's sleep (And getting guilt tripped by her guards for it.), Iron had her audience. She explained what had happened to the princess, and asked for her help. After asking a few questions about the details, Luna relented, and soon Iron was being put to sleep by the Alicorn's magic.
A few hours later, Iron awoke again, still with little memory of her dreams and with a very concerned-looking Princess standing over her. "What... What did you see?" Iron asked, afraid of the answer.
"I... Saw you talking to somepony, Iron. But there was nopony there. I heard one half of a conversation, and I didn't see your husband there. What do you remember?"
Iron bit her lip and thought, trying to catch what few details she had before they faded. "I saw him... I know I saw Twenty. I talked to him, but I can't remember what it was about... He wanted me to do something..."
Princess Luna nodded, relaying her own information. "As I said, it seemed I was hearing only half a conversation, your half. You seemed under the impression that you were going somewhere against his wishes, but other than that, I know nothing. Iron... There is nothing invading your dreams. I could not find anything out of the ordinary. But if you're seeing hallucinations, and things in your dreams that aren't there, and I cannot find a problem... Perhaps you should see a doctor."
Iron froze at the mention of a doctor, she couldn't do that... She had foals to take care, there couldn't be anything wrong with her! She'd figure this out on her own...
The days passed, and the dreams just got worse. She could still remember very little, but she knew that she was on a path that Twenty didn't want her on--No, not didn't, wouldn't want her on. He was gone, even if... even if she did see him constantly through the day, no matter where she went... It wan't real, it couldn't be real, as much as she wished it was real... And as terrifying as the dreams seemed, she found herself wishing she could stay in them just a little bit longer, if only to be able to see him in her mind...
Finally, she could take it no longer. She left work early one day, and went down to the cemetery. She had to see it, she had to know she was dreaming... After walking through the maze of headstones, she found the one she was looking for. Her husband's grave, and... Twenty standing beside it, looking at her. She shook her head, it had to be a hallucination...
Twenty began to speak, and his voice held that eerie far-away sound to it. "Come back, Iron... I need you. We all need you here, you have to make it..." his voice began to fade even as his image did, and Iron only caught a few more words. "Doctors... Get better... Need you..."
Iron held her breath as the zebra hybrid faded from view. It was a sign, it had to be... There was something wrong with her, she had to see a doctor! Iron raced back to her house, just barely remembering to pick up the foals before she raced to the hospital. There was no time to make an appointment, she had to know NOW!
A few hours later, Iron'd had her tests done, including some kind of machine to scan her brain. She was being led down the hallway back to the waiting room by the doctor, listening to him say that they'd have to wait for the results, but there didn't seem to be anything wrong with her head. It didn't make sense... There had to be something wrong, they must have missed it...
Iron was so lost in her thoughts, that the only thing that snapped her out of it was the sight of her foals... Walking down a random hallway together? Why weren't they in the waiting room? Iron stopped and stared, then noticed she was standing next to the door to the waiting room. Glancing through the window, she was shocked to find her foals still sitting where she'd left them! Iron turned back, expecting to see a now empty hallway, but no... The twins were still there, and they looked upset... What was going on?!
"I can answer that for you." A familiar voice echoed through her mind. Iron turned quickly, only to find the the doctor had disappeared and had been replaced by her brother, Flame... "Hey Iron. It's been awhile."
"Flame? What are you doing here? Why aren't you in Trottingham with River and Meadowspark?" Iron asked, only ebcoming more and more confused.
"Oh, I am. The real me, anyway. Didn't you notice I don't have an accent? Or a scar? And that I'm shorter than you suddenly? Your brother is with his family. I'm simply representing a part of your subconscious."
"So... I'm hallucinating again." Iron said, sighing and closing her eyes. When had life gotten so confusing...?
"No, not quite hallucinating." Flame said with a smile. "Here's the thing, you have a choice in front of you. You can go out to that waiting room and go back to your life, all of this will end. But you'll never, ever know what was behind it. And you'll have to live with that for the rest of your life. Or, you can follow that very upset looking set of twins, find out what in Tartarus is going on, get your answers. But all the progress you've made in moving on from Twenty will be pointless if you do. So... Make your choice."
Iron thought about what her brother was saying, questions whirling in her mind. Finally, one boiled to the surface, and she had to know. "... Before I decide, why are you a 'representation of my subconscious'?"
Flame chuckled and shook his head. "Simple. You imagined me this way, at this age, for a reason. Mom and Dad, back when everything in our lives were horrible, remember? I took the beatings for you, the abuse, I kept you safe. Kept you sane. Part of you has never forgotten that. I was your protector and now I'm here to help one last time. One of these choices is the right one, for the record. But you need to figure that out."
Iron looked into the waiting room, and then back to the hallway, taking in both sets of her children. This didn't make any sense... Both sets of twins couldn't be real, could they? She had to pick the right ones... But part of her screamed that she also needed to know about what was happening in her mind. Iron closed her eyes and took a deep breath, she had to choose right... "I need to know." She said, opening her eyes and heading down the hallway.
"Alright." Flame said, following along behind. "Just keep close to Static and Double, they know where they're going."
The odd group walked through the hallways of the hospital, Iron keeping a close eye on the foals who seemed to not even know she was there. Soon they came to a door, and the foals walked inside the room. Flame stopped Iron before she could go in with a look. "Fair warning. You go in there, there's no turning back. You make this choice, and it stays with you. So... You can choose to turn back, or go in."
Iron glared at her brother, noticed that even he was starting to look fuzzy around the edges... "I'm going in." She said, heading through the door. She stopped dead in her tracks at what she saw.
***
Iron saw Twenty sitting in a chair, and in the hospital bed was... Herself. Hooked up to all kinds of machines, and as Iron looked closer she realized that the other her wasn't moving at all... "What is this?!" she asked her husband, now even more confused than before.
"He can't hear you." Flame said sadly, waving a hoof in front of Twenty's face. "You see, Iron, Twenty didn't die in that train wreck. Which was only three weeks ago, might I add, not six months. Instead, you hit your head, and have been in a coma ever since. As your subconscious, I did everything I could for you, based on what information I had... I created a scenario, tried to give you something to live for so you'd make it through. I didn't know where Twenty was, so... He wasn't there. Then, last week, he came into the hospital room. Turns out he'd been hurt, and they only just now let him come see you. He broke through the facade I'd made, found a way into your dream just by talking to you. And you've been getting better. You weren't expected to survive before he showed up, but you began to respond after he started talking. There's just one thing now you have to do. Wake up."
Iron looked around the room as the phantom of her brother explained what happened. It was so unreal, but at the same time... It made sense. there was Twenty, there was herself in a coma, and her family was gathered around. Flame and his family were there, her aunts and uncles, even her father... Somehow, it felt right. Things made sense, for the first time in a long time. And if it meant being with Twenty and reuniting her family... Iron knew what she had to do. so she took a deep breath, stepped closer to her own unconscious form...
And Iron Mare woke up.
Re: April 2013
Voting has begun folks.
Re: April 2013
Vote over Lucy wins, all hail the incoming!
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