March 2014, Benedict Arnold
Under The Knife
"Oof! ...Aaah, finally caught, huh?"Khaem couldn't help but smile wrly to herself, as she was face first on the ground in the middle of an Equestrian court room. Thrown in unceremoniously by the few healthy Peacekeeper soldiers that caught her, the dragon researcher now found herself in front of Miss Sunbutt herself, and her sister Moonbutt, the alicorn rulers of Equestria, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. She was then pulled upright rather roughly, but the dragon was somewhat grateful for this since her claws were cuffed behind her.
Lot more dignified to be facing the Butt sisters, rather than having my own butt sticking in the air..."Draconic Alliance Agent Khaem." Celestia said sternly.
"Do you understand why you're here?""Yes yes, 'crimes against Equestria' blah blah, so how long am I gonna be incarcerated? Or until I'm executed?" Khaem said rather off-handedly. She received a bonk to the head from behind her, with the butt end of a rifle.
"Ow! Hey, watch it!"The princesses both looked at each other, eye brows raised, before turning their attention back to the DA agent.
"Why do you assume that's the reason?""Aaah, y'know. Me being a DA 'agent', cutting up your people's corpses and such." The researcher went on.
"I figured you guys wouldn't like it, but hey! I did it for the purpose of science!""'The purpose of science?' ...So you running about and burning soldiers and cutting them up in the midst of battle without any form of mercy or remorse is also for the purpose of science as well?" The princess asked, looking more skeptical than ever.
"Yes, actually!" Khaem said rather enthusiastically. She got another bop to the head.
"Ow! Hey, I'm being serious here! It was completely for the purpose of science! I...uh... I got carried away, that's all. Y'know, being a predatory creature and all... But I swear, I don't eat meat!" "Then what do you eat then?" Luna asked, giving her sister another glance.
"Almonds."The two blinked.
"Almonds?""Yes. Almonds. It's a source of protein, and also a good food for the brain." Khaem said, nodding.
"Plus, the amount of energy gotten from almonds are a lot more than eating from meat. BIologically, energy and nutrients gotten from meat are a whole lot less efficient than getting the nutrients from the plants themselves, by about 1/10th. So I just go straight to the source.""...Almonds.""Yes, I said that already. ...What's so funny?" Khaem asked, looking at the two who now seemed to be chuckling.
"Oh, it's nothing. I've just never heard of a dragon that's so nuts, they eat nuts." Celestia said, with a smile.
"Hey, I'm not nuts! I'm just...uh..." Khaem was trying to thinking of a comeback, but sighed, realizing she was in a corner.
"Okay, I'm nuts. ...But I swear, I do everything for science! All I was doing was collecting samples!""...Samples for what exactly? Biological weaponry?""No no no, I'm an expert in Biology, not chemical warfare." Khaem shook her head.
"Normally I do research for Draconic biology, and improve stuff like equipment, medicine, and etc. Was working on an element shifting pill until some of your goo- er, sorry, esteemed soldiers kicked my butt. I normally work on corpses, so as to not need to go kill my fellow brethren, but it's a little hard to get one's hands on a pony corpse.""See, dragons have a lot of info on the biology of several different species, except for ponies. So I wanted to correct that, and collect information on ponies. Not for millitary purposes though, kind of to... preserve their memory?" The researcher was doing her best to explain herself, but she got another butt to the head, and she realized what her wording was.
"Ah, sorry, I don't mean that I want you all dead! But that' kind of what my kin want, and I'm no leader. If I had a say, we wouldn't kill you all off, that'd be terrible! Causing genocide for an entire species purely on one's temporary vendetta and anger is rather stupid! ...Also kind of sad...""...One last question then, do you enjoy killing?" Celestia asked, seeming to reach a verdict.
"'Course not, I'm not a barbarian!" Khaem said indignantly.
"But sometimes to gain more knowledge on life, you need to take some lives as well, since you can glean a lot of information on corpses.""Then how about you join Equestria, and act as a researcher for us?" Celestia asked.
"Sister?!""...Wait, seriously?!" Khaem said, incredulous. She jumped up, and forgot herself a moment, and accidentally broke out of the cuffs. She found about ten guns pointing at her all of a sudden.
"...Hey hey, I told you cuffs wouldn't be enough. But you guys kept hitting me in the head, and told me to shut up.""Yes, I'm serious. We'll provide you with any corpses of volunteers, and you may have access to our facilities. On the condition that your research helps us though.""...Well alright, but I have two counter condition." Khaem said, crossing her arms.
"And what is it?" Celestia asked, curiously.
"When you guys beat up that Darkfang *yay*, can you guys spare my great-grandpa Necerion?""...Perhaps. What's the other?""...Eh, good enough." Khaem said, shrugging.
"My other condition is for you to transfer your little spy Coma Ataxia, into R&D. Specifically as my personal assistant. As much as I hate to admit it, I've gotten a little attached to the little booger."The princess smiled.
"Done."